3 min read


Team Taco™ and friends! We were in a small car accident last Tuesday evening – because driving in Mexico is a video game, and everyone loses at some point. We're both 100% fine, and no one was hurt. As a nice bonus, a Mexican National Guardsman now Whatsapp's me asking for pictures of Pancho. What a weird week. And then.

Last night, I ate my 1,000th taco of the year. Only six of them were from Taco Bell. Over six hundred of them were al pastor tacos. The runner-up has been homemade vegetarian tacos. I have yet to have a fish taco.

Today, I'm going to attempt to answer the question I've gotten the most since I started Taco Report.

"What is Taco Report?"

On the surface, it's a silly writing and art project for tracking how many tacos I'm eating this year. That's still true. I'm still counting. I'm still eating tacos. And goddamn, I love eating tacos.

But underneath that, Taco Report is my outlet for finishing dealing with my trauma of growing up a poor, religious, queer kid in Idaho. I'm sharing it publicly, because I have a few children I care about in my life that are queer as hell (even if they don't know it yet).

It's an opportunity to create after a hell year where it felt like I couldn't breathe. To work with friends I've always wanted to work with, but could never find the right project or afford to pay.

It's writing a book (or two??) in public. The salsa cookbook is coming. Going to self-publish that cutie. I'll have more details in the coming weeks and months. Tom is going to continue making mind-blowing photos for it. None of us are emotionally prepared for them, but I can't wait. (Listen, I know I'm behind on May's Salsa. But as a reminder, there are no rules, and we're all gonna die. So let's just chill, okay?)

It's a spot for us – you and me – to talk about weird, hard shit. Public vulnerability isn't easy, but the cool thing about that is every week, I have one, two, seven, a dozen earnest replies.

And I love you for it.

A Few Notes

At the end of June, I'm retiring new signups for the $2/month tier of Team Taco™. Total cash grab on my part. But in my defense, I want your money. Well, more because people didn't actually end up using it. Anyway. After June, it'll be $24/year or the once-monthly free report. If you're already in the $2/month tier, you'll be able to keep it – this is just for new Team Taco members. That's it. Plan accordingly. Or don't, I'm not your boss.

I'm making a few of my favorite reports from this year so far public. You know, to convince people to give me money. Yes, this is a shameless plug to get more people to give me money. Yes, it's going to work. If you haven't yet, become a paid member of Team Taco™. You'll love it.

On Turning 27

The one where I catch my breath.

Iguanas, Man

The one where I talk about why we left the Netherlands and why I've never felt at home. Fun fact — this writing prompt came from my best friend who was complaining that Taco Report wasn't just about, like, "Iguanas, man." You can do that too! Just reply with what you want me to write about, and I'll write a crushing essay about it.

What's a Year, Anyway?

The one where I talk about what we've lost and how we're not okay.

I'm a Runner

The one where I talk about being a runner who can't run.

If you're already a Team Taco™ member, my love for you is boundless. If you haven't given me any money yet, well, my love for you is also boundless. If this is the first report you've read, welcome. Come on in. The water is depressing, and a rising tide sinks all ships, but we're sinking together.

TACO TOTAL — 1000/2021

This Week's Taco Total — 40
May Taco Total — 183

Taco Report is just the friends we made along the way.