An Incomplete List

• 2 min read

Team Taco™ and friends!

Area man, 27, takes it easy. Not spending hours writing this week sounded nice for his brain. More at 11.

Don’t forget to pre-order the Untitled Cookbook.


An Incomplete List of Things I Thought About When I Accidentally Got Way Too Stoned

  • I really need to make another salsa.
  • Pancho’s ears are so soft. What a guy.
  • I can’t believe alcohol is legal but marijuana isn’t.
  • I really want to get my mom stoned before she dies. I think she’d really love it. Just pop a little 2.5mg edible and… quilt. (Editor's note: I got my dad stoned for the first time at age 70 last week. He denied feeling anything. Then ate an entire bowl of Cheetos.)
  • I can’t believe my parents finally moved away from Texas.
  • And my dad’s new job! So proud of him. But. Like. This should be huge for me. They may be able to save enough for retirement, and I won’t have to be their safety net.
  • Maybe. If I’m lucky. Wonder why I don’t feel more excited?
  • Like, the dread of not being able to afford my parent’s elder care is the only reason I’m still working in tech. If I only had to take care of Alyse and I? Shit. I don’t even know where I’d work. Not here.
  • Well. Maybe here. I really do love my current client list. They’re all doing dope things, and the stuff I’m doing is super fun.
  • But the internet poisoned my goddamn brain. And getting off of it would be great. Oh god, then I'd get away from NFTs.
  • I’m still sad Heath Ledger is dead. He’d be making buddy cop films with Ryan Reynolds and weird indie films.
  • How many more times should I plug my cookbook pre-order? Like, every time, right?
  • Selling shit is the worst. I know it’s the only way to make the thing exist. But Jesus Christ. The worst.
  • I remember the laugh my college advisor let out when I told her I was going to be a writer. “That’s not what people use English degrees for. Let’s get you some Education classes. Teacher Daniel Agee. Nice ring to it."
  • Should I send her a book? Both? Is that petty?
  • Oh, we haven't talked about the second one yet. Whoops.
  • That feels petty.
  • I've eaten a liter of that new salsa since I made the recipe a week ago. That's a lot, right? (Editor's note: hey, I helped.)
  • 10 Things I Hate About You aged super well, right?
  • I gotta make like 2x their salary writing these words down and taglines for startups and apps. They work for the church school — there’s no way they’re not underpaying them. Just like they were underpaying my dad.
  • The first time I got stoned, I was on a pig the size of a sedan. Like. Riding a pig. My girlfriend’s dad raised prize pigs for the fair. They were huge. We’d hide in the farmhouse talking on the pigs.
  • I wonder how Lori is doing?
  • She joined the army, right?
  • I could eat.
  • Really glad I broke that pattern of spending time on people who didn’t want to get better. Freeing, really. High school was not kind to me.
  • I was not kind to high school. So. Basically even.
  • I should eat.
  • No, stop thinking about that.
  • Just vibe, idiot.
  • Oreos are incredible.
  • I wish I could give Pancho some Oreo.
  • Oh shit, we still haven't given him peanut butter yet. We gotta get Pancho some peanut butter. He's gonna lose his goddamn mind.
  • I should stop eating Oreos.
  • Do we have tonic?
  • Certainly out of Oreos.
  • I'm proud of you.

TACO TOTAL — 1721/2021

This Week’s Taco Total — 45
September Taco Total — 189

Oh.

Shit.

300 away?

Already?

← I Miss Parties
Introducing the Untitled Cookbook →
You've successfully subscribed to Taco Report
Welcome! You are now a Taco Report subscriber.
Welcome back! You've successfully signed in.
Success! You are now a paying member and have access to all reports.
Success! Your billing info is updated.
Billing info update failed.